Oh Hey Aunty Flo I predicted your visit,
Thanks for phoning ahead with your irritability, emotional unstableness and general scowl.
Like clockwork you never fail to deliver.
In fact you are so reliable that now even my boyfriend can tell when you are about to arrive,
I think the dead giveaway is when I start wailing at him as I stuff my face full of doritos as he tries to make sense of what I am saying,
My hair will never be shiny no matter how hard I try ….its just not fair!
He grits his teeth and prays for your arrival because he knows that things will get a little worse but they will also ease up.
I am currently penciling in a visit as we speak (TMI)
I know this for sure not because I have a calendar in front of me
because I just legit formed an emotional attachment to an animal on an adoption website
How it would usually go:
*Scrolls through Facebook feed see abandoned dog for adoption
“Oh I hope little buddy finds a good home soon”
At this point in my life it goes:
LIFE IS SO UNFAIR!
HOW COULD SOME CARELESS IDIOT DUMP A POOR DEFENCELESS PUPPY LIKE THAT THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE OUTRAGE AND I WONT SLEEP UNTIL I SAVE ALL THE PUPPIES IN THE WORLD!!
I have tried to deny that your visits have any effect on me at all, In fact so have some studies
We have come too far for that,
and even shamefully got way too heated with a telemarketer who wouldn’t get off the phone when you politely declined their offer.
So I think its time we stop fighting it and denying it and learn to go with the emotional flow.