CARLY ON THE IMPORTANCE OF PRIVACY

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#dontlookatme

We all have moments when we are alone and we do something that weird’s even yourself out.

Like pulling that ugly make up face or plucking that chin hair.

Thank god for doors and work hours that allow you that couple of hours by yourself in the afternoon to let your freak flag fly!

I love my alone time I crave it and here are somethings that I prefer total privacy for.:

GROOMING

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Chin hair plucking, eye brow tinting leg shaving – They say its all about enjoying the journey but when it comes to this I would rather just meet you at the destination looking pretty and polished.

DRIVING

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I hate driving with anyone in the car I feel like they are judging me and I hate having to constantly justify my driving decisions so what I almost had a close call?!…………….. BUT DID YOU DIE!?!

TRYING ON OUTFITS

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I mean the trying on session before you do the trying on session in front of your friends.

You know the one where you try bra on or bra off Spanx or no Spanx and you turn sideways and suck your belly in and out.

The one where you bend over in front of the mirror to see if you can see your undies poking out and then you narrow it down to the five least offensive to show your friends.

BINGE WATCHING NETFLIX

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Whoever come up with Netflix and chill for a hook up date is dumb.

Seriously who thought meeting up with that tinder guy then going to his house where you pretend to be comfortable and sit awkwardly watching a sex scene was a great idea!

Errrybody knows the correct way to binge watch anything is with no bra on covered in Dorito dust and in your own mess as you haven’t left your bed all day.

EXCEPTION: Anyone who has seen you at your worst because lets be honest when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the screen between eps it ain’t pretty!

FOOD FLURRIES

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Sometimes there is no room to be polite sometimes you just need to get that food alone and have what I call a food flurry.

The kind when you resist the urge to eat in the car and as soon as you close the door behind you, you go to town because ain’t nobody got time to clean as you go!

LISTENING TO ADELE

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If we are being honest its an emotional roller coaster that sees you belting out her lyrics at the top of your lungs as you tear up and flail your arms around and stare dramatically at your reflection in the mirror.

In writing this list my boyfriend has literally seen me do every single one of these.

  I guess the point of this is once you get to that point in your relationship or friendship when they have seen too much , you either have to draw up a confidentiality agreement or just stick it out because  you have come too far.

 

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Carly Portch